Longing for God and His Unfolding Plan
Posted: Monday, March 30, 2009
by Jean Purcell
OpineBooks.com
From C. S. Lewis, long ago I got this picture in my mind of what we tend to be. He wrote of children delighting in the sandbox, and said that often we are like that. We think of things we will not have in Heaven; and then we cling the more to them.
Like the child being told that one day he will not desire the sandbox any more. He will not need the sand bucket and shovel to play with all the time. He finds it hard to imagine that one day he will not desire those things, that he will grow up. Such thoughts do not appeal to him at all, of course!
Yet what if a man or a woman desires sandbox play more than the work, relationships of family and friends, and creative expressions of being grown up? Would it be wrong to try to destroy sandbox play desires in a grownup? We think it would be kind to try.
Human nature tends toward the immediate, as does childhood. The forbidden apple from the tree, placed under our noses, is temptingly immediate compared to the walk with God in the garden at sunset. The immediate trumps the promise of joy more often than we like to think.
What about grown up subjects like self-esteem and desiring God? Which shows more desire for God, for a mature faith? For some, the desire to live within Almighty God's unfolding plan for them lacks the immediate flavor that seems pleasing.
Unlike looking for immediate satisfaction, a desire for more of God, to live within His divine plan for us, involves a journey whose end we cannot see. God leads and we, in peaceful trust, can follow. But is that what we want? Or, do our lives seem to be more tied to serving ourselves, while holding high thoughts of God?
When I first became devoted to Jesus Christ personally, as a grown up, the teaching of self-esteem in Christian places among Christian people baffled me. I did not understand the focus on self, through a psychological teaching. I knew about psychology. I had studied it. I knew from hard experience and costly lessons that only God can bring peace into a person's mind, heart, and life choices.
I had just come out of self-absorbed living, with determination that guided my days. Oh, there were fears, regrets, and old hurts lingering. But I would figure everything out and I would control my life. Later, as God's living presence and His immense love divinely invaded my thoughts, and God became real to me, I had no interest in what I wanted if it required pushing God aside.
To me, teaching self-esteem to children, parents, and others still is like holding out the immediate fruit of self-comfort, like a kind of sandbox play. Also, it's a way to avoid thinking and learning how to love, to love the way God loves, intensely, fully, with continual attention upon His children.
I can guarantee that the child brought up with love, in a loving environment, where God is loved, will grow up secure, and most likely bold, giving, thoughtful, caring, and creative as well. The tree of God's love lets its life-giving apples fall all over the place, without even thinking about it.
Seeing someone close to me face death's door more than once in the past four weeks, I have been reminded of how life's interests and attachments so quickly, within minutes, can dwindle down, by force of health, to less than a toothbrush. Only people matter. Only saying goodbye and last words to loved ones.
As hints of strength return, miraculously it seems, as they have for our loved one, I have seen how the person's life focuses on a few things, like fresh pajamas or night gowns. Packed suitcases do not need to be unpacked by anyone, for most of what is in them is not needed at such a times, because none of it is useful anymore. Or, at least, it cannot be used in the present and into the uncertain future.
When there is no strength for getting up, for living upright, how little we need. How little we can even think. What is self-esteem then? We can come to a point where TV, radio, or our favorite books hold no interest.
At such a time, life is drilled down to the nub, and we are powerless to do anything about it. Whatever we think of ourselves, it will not do us any good. And furthermore, we hardly care about anything but bare survival.
And the love and continual presence of those around us, the care they willingly give and want to give.And prayer. And trust in Him.
Like our loved one who is recovering, we will face death close up. It breathes upon the dying one. It lingers, threatening. A believer in Christ, like Helen my beloved mother-in-law, in such illness is ready for the next life, for Heaven. I witnessed expressions I cannot describe. I can only call what I imagined "glory thoughts" of serious yet peaceful nature. Her thoughts mostly privately held, seemed to pause, to treasure, to wait. And we released her to God more, and prayed for her to recover, simultaneously.
Weak as one is at such a time, the assurance of continuing to live with God after death, in another place and dimension, holds love and peace. I have witnessed what I can only describe as all of that recently.
So, is this a sad subject, tossing out self-esteem as a focus to replace it with the subject of the desire, the longing, to live within God's unfolding plan for us? No, a thousand times. How can it be sad to speak of divine longing?
Recently I rediscovered some of C H Spurgeon's words that led me into all of these thoughts. He wrote about Psalm 119: 20, which says, "My soul breaketh for the longing that it hath unto thy judgments at all times." Do we still know the longing that is so sweet and yet feels as if it will break our hearts? Is not there passion and heartbeat and love in that?
Those judgments King David referred to, wrote Spurgeon, are not punishments or God's Judgment Seat. They are synonymous with Word of God. David delighted in God's Word, though he had only the first five books of the Old Testament, the Pentateuch.
Those five books were enough for David, enough to stir the divine fire within him as he read and meditated on the words of God, as he stored them in memory and desire.
And Spurgeon commented: "One of the best tests of a man's character will be found in his deepest and heartiest longings." If you sense how far grander "deepest and heartiest longings" are, as a child of God, than starting with "self-esteem," then here is more from Mr. Spurgeon:
--"What God intends to give us He first sets us to longing for. Hence the wonderful efficacy of prayer, because prayer is the embodiment of a longing inspired of God because He intends to bestow the blessing."
--"Does your soul thirst, yea, even pant after God as the hart for the water brooks (Ps. 42:1)? Then you shall be filled with all His fullness, for all these longings are prophetic of that which is to be, even as the snowdrop and crocus and anemone foretell the approach of spring. I did not say that it is so with all human wishes, but where there are intense, heartbreaking yearnings of a holy kind, you can depend upon it they are tokens of good things to come (emphasis added)."
--"We shall grow to the likeness of that which we feed upon: heavenly food will make us heavenly minded. The Word received into the heart changes us into its own nature, and by rejoicing in the decisions of the Lord, we learn to judge after His judgment and to delight ourselves in that which pleases Him."
--"These longings constitute a living experience, for dead things have no aspirations or cravings."
Strangely, yet truly, I have found that to desire more of God means to let go of many things that might produce self-satisfaction or pleasure. But, oh, how that all seems like the sandbox that I remember fondly, but have no desire to return to for my delight.
To grow, we let go of past things, of childish things, and Scripture speaks of this, too. We let go of the self-wanting things so that we may have more, oh, so much more! And God will surely fulfill the deepest and most wonderful longings that we have for Him, for Christ, for Heaven, and for Joy!
Moreover, we will enjoy all of this together as saints, no one vaunting himself or flaunting anything, but all enjoying together all the unspeakable things of God's kingdom, His world, and the world to come in Christ's return. Together. With Him. With all that is of Heaven in this world and the next.
Praise God!
Note: the quotes from Mr. Spurgeon are from Spurgeon: A Passion for Holiness in the Believer's Life, compiled and edited by Robert Hall, chapter nine, "Holy Longings."
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)Your thoughts on self-esteem are what this world needs to hear. I lved this article very much. Very comforting.Ken, your thoughts on this mean a lot to me. Thank you. God bless you continually.Jane
Dear Jane,
As ever, there was such serenity in this Truth. Clinging to the Word of God is like holding tightly to a bright lantern on a darkened path. We can't see what's ahead but the light shines bright enough for us to proceed step by step. This was masterful and profound. Your descriptions were as accurate as they could be because I sense the Holy Spirit and how can we truly put words to Him other than who He is? I Am. Your mother-in-law's experience and peace. I am deeply moved by your writing. All that we are is in Him. Thank you!Dear Avis, you left a large truth: step by step with Him. Thank you, dear Avis!
Joyous Easter!
Jane
The Christian life is a life of walking in faith and I sometimes think that is the stumbling block for us. We know what we have now, and unless our life is just horrible, all the things we possess are really not that bad. So we decide to live in God and in faith. Now what? What will it be like? What will God ask us to do? Although we understand that God has promised us great things, these things are still up to this point, the unknown. And it is the unknown that we shy from, in order to hang on to the things we understand. I guess that is why some call it the 'leap of faith'. And for some that leap is longer than for others.Dear David, my apologies for being late in responses. This Easter Day helps me respond to your comments, for I know you are a believer in the Lord Jesus. When we think of the wondrous love of God, the beauties of His holiness, and when we think of the ugliness of sin, we know that what God has prepared for us is, as He said, "beyond what we can ask or think or imagine...."
Also, we walk by faith not only in Him but also we walk with Him and He with us. We are not alone. And, we can seek His Holy Spirit's presence, assurance, and guidance every moment. He is our Comforter and our Guide. I say these things because I know you know them. I think that it does take desperation for many people to let go and dare to believe that God is real and that Jesus is who He is. Jesus warned us not to be deceived by what we can see, touch, and enjoy of the worldt. For me, not only delving into the Bible, praying desperately, realizing my need for more in life, it was also the writing of two saints of God that helped--CHSpurgeon's Mourner's Comforter and CSLewis's autobiography. I knew, and I believe God helped me in this, that I had to trust God. God was pushing me in that direction, I now believe. He helps the ones who seek HIm. Spurgeon and Lewis, I say, "walked me" into the kingdom, yet then there were struggles of faith and learning the importance of obedience to the Word and to the stirrings and whispers of the Spirit. Have I written too much?
God bless and keep you. Joyous Easter Day in the Lord!
JaneThanks for this Jane.I heard one person make this comment once. He said something like this, "Some people feel they need to understand before they can believe. I believe, now I understand."David, you said it! I have found it to be that way: faith, then the "now I get it!" At least enough, that mustard seed produce is so wonderful.
Joyous Easter to you!
Jane
Beautiful truth in your article Jane. I think we all struggle at times with childlike behaviors and that usually God uses the growing pains to draw us closer to Him. The peace that flowed from your article was felt.God bless you always,Dear Michelle, God bless you and His favor be upon you on this Easter Day. Thank you so much for reading and commenting on this article. May the Lord be glorified in all.
In His love,
Jane
Jean (Jane)Thank you so much for sharing this article with us freely. I have found some quotes and statements in it that I would like to share with others and you have so graciously allowed me to do that. In a world and a time when most writers don't seemingly want to allow others to share what God has given them by way of making quotes, or reprint parts of a message, etc. even with giving proper acknowledgement, you have graciously given permission for a person to do that. Thank you and may God generously bless you for so doing.Dear Sheila, I am indebted and owe all to the Lord. It thrills me that you want to pass along anything that I have shared and may God be with you as you reach out to do that. Thanks for the blessing you sent to me. God bless you, too, Jean (Jane)
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